HAPPY SPRING FRIENDS!!!!
This is my very enthusiastic greeting for a somewhat more somber post. I am so happy that spring is finally upon us. Wherever you are, I hope that you are catching a break from the aggressive winter weather.
Lately I have been struggling a bit more than usual in my personal life. I have been commuting roughly four hours per day, to and from work, and my parent’s house. I went into this knowing it would be temporary, as I am moving to Philadelphia in 2 weeks. I knew it would be tough, but didn’t predict the effects it would have on my body. When I get home, I am way too exhausted for anything more than gentle yoga, and I only have about three hours before I need to be in bed, to prepare for a 5am wake up. On top of the exhaustion, this routine makes me pretty grumpy and unenthused at work. My anxiety levels have been much higher than normal and I am having a really hard time meditating. I cannot sit still for more than four minutes because my mind is as busy as I am.
Last week, I had much more stress than usual in my routine. On Monday, the metro tunnel caught fire, causing my train to abandon me far from work. All of the taxicabs were busy and an Uber was 4X the fair. It took me almost three hours to get to work. I come home from my commutes almost every day in tears, angry mind and an angrier body. My workouts were cut short or sacrificed due to the transportation delays. On Wednesday I got my hair done and it took four hours and cost $240, even though the stylist said it would be $160. On Thursday, I put my two weeks in at work and had to drive straight from work, to Philadelphia, maxing out at about an eight hour day in the car.
The only reason I made it to Friday in one piece, is because I had an epiphany, but first I had a melt down. On my drive home Thursday, I was incredibly anxious and just felt like I had been punched in the face by the transportation systems. I did something low for me and I had a meltdown. I pulled over to get gas and went inside the store and bought potato chips (sour cream and onion) and 2 Reese’s peanut butter eggs. I usually avoid processed foods at all costs, so this is rare for me. As I was driving home and guiltily stuffing my face, I noticed how beautiful the sky looked and I thought about my life apart from the commuting. Surprisingly, this really turned things around. I realized that without the awful commute my life nearly seems perfect. I have a family who supports me no matter what, amazing friends, a loving boyfriend, a stable job, and I am following my dream and moving cities to continue chasing it. My heart felt so full.
Instead of being mad at myself for the temper tantrum and the junk food, I realized, in a weird way, I needed it. Sometimes, we need to fall apart so we can put ourselves back together again. Sometimes we have to eat the chips, or the ice cream. Sometimes we have to scream in the car with the windows up, get the crazy out. Life can be trying, and we are all human. My lesson learned in this scenario, is to try to look at my life apart from frustrating situations, to bring you back to reality. Another tool that compliments this is a gratitude journal. I try to write three very specific things I am grateful for each day, and it makes you realize how much good you have in your life. I try to keep it specific to each day, so I really feel the gratitude. I have also been keeping a journal during this tough time to track progress and promote positive thoughts.
Of course, once you have calmed yourself down after a frustrating/anxious situation, give yourself self-care. Self-care can be as luxurious as a massage visit, or as simple as a long, hot shower. After my long commutes I like to stand under the hot water and shut my thoughts off, this is my daily self-care.
I would love to hear what works for you guys! Comment below and let me know 🙂
Keep smiling; we’re all in this together.
P.S-Here is a picture of the sky that turned my day around:
Happiness and health,